Living on the Fenceline

Overview | Conversations with Advocates of Fair Growth | Living on the Fenceline

Iris Carter

Iris Carter, 50, lives alone at 50 1/2 East Street in a trailer set up on concrete blocks. She works full time as an Early Head Start teacher with children ranging in age from newly born to three years old. Of the eight students in her class three are babies. She has been teaching for 15 years and will soon graduate from Delgado College with a degree in Early Childhood Development. She plans to attend Xavier College to pursue a degree in Special Education.

Carter arrives home from work in the late afternoon with a white co-worker to whom she is lending a long beaded evening dress, matching shoes, and handbag. "You're going to look good in this," she says beaming at her friend. It is a chilly winter day in Diamond and the electricity in the front of her trailer has gone out due to faulty wiring. She walks with a pronounced limp because of arthritis in her knee.

On the coffee table in front of her couch is a book entitled "Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters" by Andrea Davis Pinkney. Inside is the story of Mary McLeod Bethune, a champion of black education ("Enter to Learn and Depart to Serve") after whom the local school was named.

Carter grew up in Diamond, went to the Bethune School until 8th grade, and graduated from neighboring Destrehan High School in 1970. She stayed home until 1972 before she married and moved away for 20 years. She returned to Diamond six years ago to take care of her ailing mother who subsequently died. Her 47 year-old sister died a year later. Her 23 year-old daughter lives in Dallas, works at a Payless store.

Interview

Iris Carter: Working full time and getting my degree isn't easy but I can do it. I will make it through this. I just made 50. It hasn't been easy. I grew up here . . . we grew up with the [Shell] plants. The environment seems to me to be worse now than when we were children. It is more polluted now. As children we were not aware of the dangers much. We were innocent and ignorant of the facts: we didn't know. We would just play around them. We just grew up here. It was home for us.

When I moved away I noticed some changes in my body from when I lived here. I had a lot of sinus trouble that cleared up. But now I am back home it started up again from breathing the air here. Then I have arthritis in my knee. When I went to the doctor last year I had been coughing up blood and he said he thought it was from the environment. And my sinus problems he said it was from the chemical plants and that there wasn't anything I really could do about it. He said I could take the medicines but it never really clears up. He told me it wouldn't clear up as long as I am here. So I live with it because I'm in school and I just started working full time. I was a student full time and I had part time work. But now I have a full time job. I can live here and I don't have to pay any rent. I just have to pay the utilities.

My mom died six years ago now. She was sick and we took her to the doctor and they said what she had was caused by the plant. She had been here all her life. She lost a lot of weight and then the function of her body. She couldn't get up and walk any more. We took her to the clinic at Louisiana State University and one of the doctors asked us did we live around a plant. The doctor said my mom's condition was partly caused by the environment we lived in. She was 67. My sister died six months after my mom. She was 47. She died of scurvy derma (?) . . . hardening of her arteries and organs. Her doctor also said her sickness was caused by the environment. So I have relatives that died from living here, you know what I'm saying? And it kind of scared me when I started getting sick and I went to the doctor and the doctor asked me where I lived. He asked if I lived near a plant. I didn't tell him that. He just asked me this. I said, 'yeah.' He said: 'That is some of your problem right there.' My mom had died, my sister had died, and we were here all the time breathing this stuff in not knowing that it was maybe causing our lives to be shortened and causing ill health. So the plants have a lot to do with out lives with sickness and things going on in the community. I know this.

I just can't afford to get up and say I'm moving out of here. I can't afford to do that on my salary. So I am here until I can do better. I hope to one day be able to get my degrees and move on. Now I'm just going to school on Saturdays. I had to cut down [my school time] because I am working fulltime too and I work with little kids, which is really draining. But I need to get my degree because my job requires it. We can work towards a degree and work at the same time. I had a teacher who ridiculed me last week. He's a psycho but I am going to make it all right. It takes a determined mind, it is really rough, but I am doing all right. I'm focused, I'm determined, and I'm disciplined, and that is what it takes so I am going to graduate next year.

When the accident happened that killed Miss Helen [Washington] and the boy [Leroy Jones], I was living in Metairie but I was visiting my Mom who baby-sat my kids a lot. So I was here [in Diamond] quite a lot. We went over there and it was tragic. It was scary. Then when the big explosion happened [at the Shell refinery in 1988] we could feel it all the way in Meterie. My mother and my children were here and I was scared to death when that plant blew up. I didn't know if my family was alive: my mom, my children, my sister, my other sister was staying here. It was scary. My ex-husband worked for Shell for years but he's retired. My son also works for Shell . . . he doesn't work at the plant here; he works in St. Rose in a smaller plant. That is another thing. You have family members working in the plant and you hear this explosion and [worry about] the stuff they are breathing in. My ex-husband, I think, he is sick and going to the doctor: he worked [at Shell] for 20 some years.

[In the old days] my parents lived in Diamond up by the Spillway where there was a little plantation. My family has been here from the conception of NORCO. They were here before it was [called] NORCO. I think it was Diamond when my grandmother lived here. My grandmother was here and my great grandmother too. So we are four or five generations here. I don't know the whole story. Black people lived up there on this big open land . . . . It was no longer a plantation but it was owned by white people. Then they were moved out of there and were scattered all about: New Sarpy, St. Rose, and NORCO. By the time I was old enough to understand what was going on all the old [plantation] buildings were torn down. All of us lived with my grand mom: we had a house adjoining her house. And my grandmother told us about my great grandmother. She was part Indian or something like that. She was a healer and my grandmother was too. They used leaves and hog's fat and all that and they would put that on if you had an infection in your leg or something and it would bring healing.

My grandmother taught us how to cook very well. When I was ten years old we had cherries stirring in the pot. She said you could always make money if you could make food. People always want something to eat. My grandmother would make these pies, sweet potato pies, coconut pies. We would bake them and go down on the corner and sell them. One of our uncles would see us and he would be embarrassed so he would buy the pies. I grew up in a colorful environment. I had a real great grandmother. She was wonderful. She would pay us so we learned to work. We didn't grow up lazy. We would walk down Cathy Street to go to the Baptist Church. She gave us spiritual guidance and taught us how to take care of ourselves. Growing up here was good but it has changed a lot. I get a little emotional thinking of my grandmother. (She starts to weep.) It has changed a lot with all these accidents and plants blowing up. Like my mom used to say: You don't know if you are going to wake up or not because any time you here a little boom or shake you have fear all the time. We used to laugh: You never sleep in your pajamas here; we'd sleep in our shorts and shirt because you don't know when you have to jump up and run.

When my mom was alive [when there was an accident at Shell] we would have to put her in the car when she was sick and drive to La Place. Then they would deny it and say nothing really happened or that it wasn't that dangerous. We [evacuated once] to my sister's place and another time to Destrehan High School. That was rough: my mom was a sick woman and we had to get her out of bed and bring her to places like that because we were afraid things were going on at the plant and there were odors coming out and all kinds of stink stuff and it was on your car. It is no picnic living here. But it is home to a lot of people. And families are hard to just uproot, you know what I'm saying? A lot of people are here because it is home. Not that they love breathing this air. But it is home. It is home. (Weeps.) Sometimes it is good and sometimes it is bad. So I'm just going to school and prepare myself so I can leave here as soon as I can.

Shell buying out just the first two streets [Washington and Cathy Streets] is an insult and a slap in the face. They are going to break up families and friends and neighbors. They are going to take some and leave some behind, do what they want. They are the big chiefs here, they are in charge, and they don't give a damn what you feel or what you say. They don't have any regard for your family or life ties. These people [Diamond residents] have been living here all their lives and Shell is just going to move some and leave the others and let them stay and suffer. It doesn't matter how we feel: the emotional ties, the spiritual ties, whatever. They [Shell officials] don't care. That is what I see: that they don't care.

Because if they did they would say: 'OK, this is a neighborhood, this is a community. These people are family and friends.' They should have said: 'We are going to move all of you together.' They should have found a subdivision where they could put everyone together. You know we are one here. We go to church together, we go to each other's weddings, funerals, and all this . . . it is a small community. We are heart-related. We are not all related by blood but we are heart-related because we grew up together. We are neighbors. We look out for each other. My neighbor who christened me, she would go to the store and buy for us. So we have close ties here. And they are just going to break the ties without coming around and asking what they can do to make this easier for us and make the transition easy. Nobody asked that.

I got upset. One day I was riding and I saw Miss Mariah. She lived across the street from the school I went to and she was always at gatherings. She was one of my favorite old ladies. And now she was going. That hurt me. We are losing part of who we are: our heritage and where we came from. All of that is gone. They are gone in ten different directions: whatever they can find [in the way of housing] that is reasonable, whatever they can afford. [Shell officials] are paying them to leave here to go away. Some people are here, some people are there, nobody is united. And that is a hard thing when you grew up together. Think about that: people you grew up with and knew them and spent time with them . . . . [then] you just lose them one day without any notice.

No one [from Shell] is coming forward and saying: I'm so sorry we have to split you all up. No, they have enough money there they can do anything they want to us. It is just like we are little ants and they just step on us because they are the big guys. They are the big people and can just sweep us all away if they want to. They can send some away and keep the others and make us suffer and say: you can't do anything about it. That is what it seems to me.

Margie Richards she just kept on and kept on [fighting for relocation] and I guess they got tired of here so they shut her up and moved her out. It just is not fair. There are a lot of things we have to suffer here as a community and as individuals that just is not fair.

I grew up here, I moved away for some years, and I moved back and it is not better it is worse. Stores [are] all closing and people [are] leaving. When I was a kid there was a department store on the front [near the levy] you could shop in. We don't have that. We had two or three [local] stores where you could go in and shop: a grocery store on River Road. We called it 'down-the-road.' Now there is nothing here. No movies. It is like the community just dried up. If these big plants are here shouldn't business be booming with all this industry? Why is it just the opposite? It is worse now than when I was a child. We used to have things to do here.

They [Shell officials] are always sending out these letters: they want to know what we think and what they could do. But what are they doing? They built this little playground but there is no shelter where [children] can play when the weather is bad. There is no gym. On the other side [the white side of town] they built a gym and a swimming pool, a real recreation area. They have the money. If they [Shell] are for the community then they should show us. I had to go for years without health insurance until I got a job. I couldn't afford it. I was breathing this air and it is [Shell] that caused me to have to go to the doctor. Think about that. They say they want to help the community. Show us. They could have built a real gym and a pool. These youth don't have anything to do around here. There is not much to do except walk down the street and get into trouble. If they were really interested in the community they would send mentors out here and talk to these youth and get involved with these kids. I'm an educator. No one ever asked me if I wanted to work here and help someone in the community. Nobody is offering to do anything. So I think, ok, it looks like we really don't count. It is a hard thing, a hard thing . . . that we should have to suffer this injustice. It really is.

Then Shell buys the Gaspard Line [a long strip of wooded land that divides the black from the white population of NORCO]. That property has been there how many years? It is older than me. When we were kids we would walk through there -- there was nothing but grass -- just looking for adventure and to explore. Shell never did anything with that [land then.]. So why now do they come and buy it when they could have taken us out of here. What good is buying Gaspard Line and putting in a park when they are killing us and people are left and it is not safe . . . . They [Shell officials] say they are going to make a park but they should have built a recreation area years ago. So what is this? I'm getting mixed messages here. So it is crazy. It is crazy.

When Shell [officials] say that they can't buy two more streets of Diamond because it would mean offering the same deal in the rest of the town, I would tell them that they should buy the whole town. They don't have to move a chosen few: they can move everybody for safety and comfort. If it is right, do the right thing. Shell [officials] know that people are breathing these fumes in whether they live on Diamond Street [the third street from the plant] or Washington Street [the street on the fenceline with the plant]. If it is harmful just buy the whole damn thing, pardon my expression. Buy everybody out. This is not just about Iris. This is about everybody. We all count. We all have families, we all have feelings, we all have bodies that can be damaged, so why can't they just buy everyone out. Just make it right for everybody. They [Shell officials] are thinking about money and what it will cost them but lives are worth more than money. So when they say it is not about money I say: 'Yeah, right. (Sarcastic.) Sure, I believe anything they tell me.' What is the quote? 'Don't tell me: show me.' I don't believe what you say. I believe what you do. I'm looking at their actions. Actions speak louder than words. And they are not showing me much.

When I look at the last seven years I have been here it has gotten worse. We had to evacuate my sick mom and get her in the car. That is too much. And the money they gave my mom after the big explosion, they should have gotten better than that. That wasn't fair. Then they give the whites one thing and the blacks another. This is a big issue here. I feel if we were white people Shell would have dealt with our problems faster. Why did Margie [Richard] have to go through all kinds of channels, go to the EPA and all, go get people from Xavier to come in and bring all this information in, root it up and dig it up, and get people to testify. Come on. Shell knows this is not right. Why don't they just take care of it? We had to go through all these channels and push and fight for what was right.

I just pray to God to protect us here so we can get out of here. I am a Christian. I believe in God and I live by his word. And His word is that he will put his angels in charge of us. So when I go to bed I say: 'Lord, put your angels in charge of this neighborhood, this community, that we will have a safe rest and we can get up in the morning and go to school or work or do what we have to do until we can get out of here.' That is what I pray for my community. Without those prayers I don't think we would have lasted this long because it is going down [here in Diamond].

Some of the white people on the other side of the Gaspard Line seem to be satisfied living here because they are building [new] houses back there. I don't understand it. I don't know if they are giving them incentives, extra money or what. I think this is racism. I really do because my sister died at 47 years-old and that is an early death to me. My sister went to court against Shell to try to get us moved out of here. They made my sister look this big [holds her fingers about an inch apart]. They talked bad about her, they talked down to her [in order] to make them [look] right and us [look] wrong. It came out nothing was accomplished. She was saying that they were polluting the air and that it made her sick.

Right here [pointing next door], my neighbor, who is a cousin of mine, their house burned down, she died with the breathing problems, and needed oxygen. I talked to her family and they said the same thing: that the doctors said she was in the condition she was in because of the [polluted] air. She was a life-long resident. She grew up here, she lived here, and she married here. She died at an early age. She was younger than 47. Her name was Avis Moore. Clarence was her husband. Their home burned down. He remarried and he and his new wife are trying to get a trailer now. Avis was my cousin and I went over to see here and she was sick. It is like it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if all of these people are dying and sick in this community . . . DUH . . . something is going on. But there is no health study because it probably would work against them. If Shell has the money to get some doctors or some impartial people to come in and do this health study, if they are saying there is no problem . . . then prove it is no problem.

I went to Charity Hospital [when I was coughing up blood] and didn't even mentioning that I was living in a chemical environment, sandwiched between two chemical plants, a refinery and a chemical plant. That doctor did not know where I lived. I didn't tell him: 'I lived between two plants.' He asked me: 'Where do you live at? Do you live near a plant?' Come on now. I didn't pay him. I was going to Charity Hospital for free. So this finger is pointing back at Shell, not at us for not taking good care of ourselves. You should do such, such, and such. No. Where do you live? That was the question. See what I am saying? So if they [Shell officials] say they are so innocent and it is not their fault and it is not the pollutants they are pushing out here, then go pay for the health study. All these people can't be wrong. My mom goes to the doctor and the doctor tell us that our mom's condition is because of living in an environment with chemicals, from breathing in this air and stuff. My sister she dies. Come on.

They [Shell officials] need to stop lying. First you need to realize that you have a problem before you can get a solution. You have to admit that you have a problem. Any group session you go to if someone says "there is nothing wrong with me" then that person can get no help. You have to come there and say: 'I'm an alcoholic;' or 'I am a drug addict.' Otherwise, you can't get help. You have to say: 'I have a problem here.' They are the problem. Shell has to say: 'We are the problem and we are making the lives of the residents of Diamond dangerous.' So it is really sick. It is sad. They want to sit back in their corporate offices in their business suits and whatever and point the finger at us and say that we just want the easy way out.

Damn that, mister. If I wanted the easy way out I would just go and get on disability. But I'm not getting on disability. I can go to school and I can work. I can get my degree. I'm going to do what I have to do for me. We are not shiftless and lazy and waiting for someone to pay us off. We try to make our lives better. OK. My daughter is about to go back to school. My son is working. I didn't raise him to be shiftless and lazy with his hand out. No, my son works for Shell. My brother works at the grain elevator down there. My other brother is a welder. We are not just waiting for someone to give us money to leave here. This is our home. We are normal, hard-working American citizens. We are only asking for what is right for us. Do right by us that is all I'm saying. They should put themselves in our place and empathize with us. Would they be saying this is a fine place to raise a family? No, they wouldn't either. But we are supposed to just say: 'I'm happy with this.' No, I am here because I cannot do any better right now. I will do what I have to do to get away from here. I do not plan to stay here forever. I do not plan to build a home here. When I get my degree I am going elsewhere because there have got to be places with better environments more conducive to my health. I'm going to have grandchildren one day: I don't want to bring my grandchildren here. Think of the future. We don't want any more.

We just want what is right. That is all I'm asking: what is right. I'm not after a million dollars because I know the place I'm living in is not worth a million dollars. I'm not asking for what I don't deserve. Just give me what I deserve. You know what I am saying? I know this neighborhood. There are a few people who don't want to work like anywhere else . . . . There are those who are lazy, who don't have any motivation in life. They are there. Let's be real. But the majority of the people here are hard-working people trying to do the best they can to raise their families and bring up the kids the right way. So you can't go out and say: these people are just lazy. No, I'm not waiting for you to give me nothing, Mister. I'm just working and going to school to make my life the best I can. What Shell is doing is hindering me by keeping me here in this environment breathing this bad air, living under these conditions. Do you understand? I don't have enough money to just move away. Where is the money going to come from? I didn't cause this and I shouldn't have to pay for it.

As far as I knew we were here before the chemical plant. My grandmother and all were here before them. They didn't have Shell then. So they can't say they were here first. No they weren't. My relatives were here before they called [this town] NORCO. They called it Diamond or Sellers, Louisiana. So [Shell came] after the fact. They used to call it Sellers, Louisiana, that is what my grandmother used to tell me. So [Shell] found us here. They came and polluted our air. So who should be leaving; or who should be paying for us to leave? Should it be us? The question is: who is responsible? Shell. That is all I'm saying. They should face the responsibility.

When the Shell officials say the government regulates them, I say this: 'The government is not here every day. They are not monitoring this on a 24-hour a day, seven-day-a-week basis.' Are they? No they are not. They do random testing. Shell can be prepared for when the government comes in not to emit the stuff or to pollute. Those people know what they are doing, they have the technology, they have the know-how, and they don't have any dummies running the company. They are educated and well trained and they are making big bucks to cover up or whatever they have to do so they can keep making the money that are making. I'm not stupid. Maybe they think everyone here is dumb and crazy but I'm not one of them and I know a heck of a lot of people here who are not dumb and stupid. We know what is going on. Why do you think people moved away? If it was safe enough to stay they would have stayed. Like I say, these are our roots. You don't want to just leave your roots. They don't want to leave it behind. They don't want to say their home is gone. It's ridiculous to say that we just want to move out of here for no reason and that we have nothing better to do. OK? See what I'm saying? No, it is not like that. We are just sick and tired of being treated like second class citizens and like we just don't matter. This needs to be stopped, it needs to be addressed, and it needs to be done now. As long as I have a breath in my body I am going to say what I feel about it. It is not fair and it is not right and they need to fix it. That is the bottom line. Human life is important and should be protected at all costs. That is how I feel.

I am always trying to lose weight; I'm exercising. Mister, let me tell you something: when I get up in the morning and my arthritic knee hurts me like you would not believe, and my hands hurt some days, I could just lay in the bed and say "ohhh, I'm just so sick, my body hurts." And it is like this: I'm going to be in pain whether I get up out of this bed or not. I'm getting up because there are things I need to do. I have a job. I have responsibilities. So I am getting up and going to my job and going to school every Saturday. After all this work with these little kids, I have to go to school on Saturdays. I leave for work every day, I volunteer in the evening, I do after school care for some parents who can't afford after school care, and then I went to school. I'm out here to make things better for myself and anyone else I can help along the way. So I am not looking for Shell to give me anything I don't deserve, but just to do the right thing by me. My family lives in this community. Shell should do the right thing. If I can get up from here in pain and go and do what I need to do . . . . I don't lay here and say: Shell caused me to be laying here. So I get on up and do what I have to do because I have goals and dreams. And I want to accomplish them and I am not waiting on Shell to accomplish it for me. It is not about them it is about me. They just need to do what is right for us so we can have a better life.

I didn't just come here. I grew up here. I know the tragedies that happened here. We took a lot. For example my auntie has a house back on the track, Mrs. Deloris Brown. You've seen the condition of my auntie's house. She doesn't have anything fancy; it is very in need of repair. Shell has a pipeline running through my Auntie's yard. They are not paying her the money she deserves for living next to that. That is sick. How can they justify something like that? Who is using who? Who is looking to screw who? Excuse my language. Huh? OK. I rest my case.

I am blessed to be alive and to be in the land of the living . . . that is all I can tell you. God is keeping us and He has a plan and a hope for us. And Shell can either do the right thing and God will have mercy on them. Or they can go on and keep doing wrong and God will let His wrath fall on them. They can do one of the two, but I believe in God. I believe Him, I believe His word. He don't lie. And He said: 'Many are the affliction of the righteous but the Lord deliver them. But woe to the wicked man." [Check quote.] Do you hear me? And they [Shell officials] are wicked. They are going to try to do us all kind of wrong things and try to make us the villain. But something is wrong. This is the last of the evil days and they can get caught up and they will be history. Just like Enron, that big time company that went down. Come on. Talk to me. Shell could be next. Come on now. You can either be a blessing or you can be a curse. They can choose. God is God and I am His child. He loves me and He says He will create what I need. OK. He says vengeance is His. He will take vengeance on Shell. I don't have to lift a finger. I will be praying.

The people on the other side of town may say they are used to the smells and the fumes but they are also used to the money Shell is pouring in their pockets. After the explosion in 1988 Shell made one settlement with them and another with us, with these black people for a lot less. I even had a friend of mine say that they were still getting residual money. Now, I don't know how true this is. But I don't trust them [Shell officials]; I don't trust any of them. They will pay off whatever they have to do . . . . I put nothing past them. If you see how they are not treating you fairly . . . they are dealing with them with the right hand and dealing with you with the left hand . . . Come on now. How can you trust them? You are saying one thing but doing another. OK? So that right there, there is no trust. You can't have a relationship. You can't have a decent relationship because you can't trust them. They tell you one thing but they show you something else.

Would I be willing to be videotaped? I have no problem. I would be honored. Somebody has to speak up. If good people do nothing then bad things continue. And God has called on us to make a difference. And I mean to make a difference. And not just for me, for everybody. It needs to be done. I speak from the heart. When I think of my mom and my sister, and my cousins . . . I have been through a lot. And somebody needs to be responsible for it and own up to it and say: 'we sorry for what we all put you through and we want to make it up to you.' You [Shell officials] can't bring my mom and my sister back but you can make my future better by doing the right thing. I'm glad you came. I feel much better talking about this.

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